We used to be normal
but then we went to dental school.
Dental school made us weird and taught us to say some really weird stuff. Here are three ways YOU can start being less weird TODAY!
STOP saying to patients we can SAVE their tooth. Is the tooth Private Ryan? Is Tom Hanks going to carry a lower molar with decay across a battlefield? On his back? Under heavy enemy attack? See how crazy that sounds.
Let’s take a break from saying save and START saying MAINTAIN!
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STOP saying FAILED to patients. It’s dramatic, absurd and most of the time, not even true. Betsy. Have a seat. The bridge you have been eating with for twelve years. It has FAILED. You Betsy, also kind of a failure.
Let’s quit it with the failed and START saying REPLACE.
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STOP saying VIRGIN when describing a tooth without a filling. Does this make you comfortable to say to a 68-year old woman named Millie at 10:30am on a Tuesday morning? Happy now? Millie feels super awkward.
We can’t do a bridge here, Millie. The teeth on either side. THEY ARE VIRGINS!
Millie: What about the one in the back with the big silver filling.
You: That tooth is morally corrupt. Going out too late at night. Probably getting a lot of bottle service.
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Are you with me now, dentists?
Let's GET IT TOGETHER and act like a team out there.
Not a team of weridos that says stuff like . . . . you don't want to get supereruption, Bill (or is it supraeruption). Either way. No one say that word again!
Your dentisting friend,
Paul "Dr. Nacho" Goodman